The Counterintuitive Truths of a Good Life

By Leonardo Radomille

Most people believe that winning the lottery would solve their problems and bring lasting happiness. They imagine that unlimited money and free time would create the perfect life. This belief motivates millions to pursue wealth, freedom, and material success, hoping these achievements will lead to enduring joy and satisfaction.
A man and woman enjoy wine on a rooftop, with a stunning ocean view, embodying a relaxed and luxurious lifestyle.

At The Gathering, we help people explore what truly shapes a meaningful life. Our research-driven approach highlights four key pillars of happiness: faith, family, friendship, and meaningful work. Through our programs and resources, we support individuals in building authentic relationships and discovering lasting purpose.

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The Surprising Reality About Money and Happiness

Studies following lottery winners show that many experience a return to their usual or baseline happiness levels (the typical level each person tends to revert to) within months to a few years after winning large sums. This pattern highlights that money and free time alone do not create lasting happiness.

While financial security can reduce certain worries, it does not fulfill deeper human needs for meaning and connection. Research consistently finds that once basic needs are met, additional income has minimal effect on overall life satisfaction.

Similarly, people often imagine that unlimited free time or early retirement will bring lasting joy. Yet, many who reach this stage find that excessive leisure can lead to boredom, loss of purpose, and even feelings of depression.

What Really Creates a Good Life

Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor and social scientist specializing in happiness research, identifies four key areas that contribute to genuine life satisfaction. These pillars together form the foundation of a meaningful life. Focusing on developing these areas helps individuals experience enduring joy and fulfillment.

The four pillars that foster lasting happiness are:

  • Faith: Understanding your place in the universe and what gives life meaning
  • Family: Cultivating deep relationships that offer unconditional love and support
  • Friendship: Building authentic connections where you can be your true self
  • Meaningful Work: Applying your talents to contribute positively

Studies find that people who actively engage with all four pillars report higher happiness, reduced anxiety and depression, greater resilience, and longer, healthier lives supported by strong relationships.

Beyond short-lived pleasures or material possessions, these pillars provide deep and growing satisfaction. Each supports the others, creating a solid foundation capable of withstanding life’s challenges and setbacks.

The Power of Faith and Meaning in Human Life

At sunset, a silhouette of a woman praying, embodying faith and the journey towards a good life.

When researchers discuss faith, they often refer not only to traditional religious beliefs but to a broad understanding of having a coherent story about who you are, your place in the universe, and what gives life meaning. This perspective embraces both religious and spiritual practices that connect individuals to something beyond themselves.

Archaeological findings suggest that ancient cave art, created tens of thousands of years ago, may represent early spiritual or symbolic thought. These paintings frequently show fantastical creatures and otherworldly scenes, indicating that our ancestors recognized a reality beyond the physical world and laid the foundation for human spiritual consciousness. Although interpretations vary, such artworks likely reflect early forms of spiritual awareness in human culture.

The Historical Role of Religion

Throughout history, nearly every long-lasting civilization has included some form of regular religious or spiritual practice. These traditions provide structure, meaning, and community bonds that hold societies together. Even when political systems have tried to replace religion with other ideologies, spiritual practices have persisted underground and have eventually resurged.

According to studies from Pew and Gallup, religion serves several important functions in human life:

  • Meaning-making:  Answers fundamental questions about existence and purpose 
  • Ethical framework: Provides guidelines for living a moral life
  • Social connections: Creates communities and support networks
  • Psychological comfort: Offers hope and peace during difficult times

People who participate in religious communities report lower levels of anxiety and depression compared to their secular counterparts. They also have stronger social networks and receive more practical help during difficult periods.

Science and Faith Working Together

Many assume that science and religion conflict, but historians and philosophers explain that these fields explore different dimensions of the human experience. Science describes how the physical world operates, while faith considers why things exist and what they signify.

Recent scientific findings in neuroscience, cosmology, and physics echo spiritual and religious insights found across various traditions, suggesting ancient wisdom may have intuited truths about human nature and the universe — insights increasingly supported by modern research.

By integrating ancient wisdom with knowledge from neuroscience, psychology, and physics, we gain a clearer understanding of the human experience. Scientific studies continue to highlight the benefits of practices such as meditation, gratitude, and community service—practices that have been central to religious life for millennia.

America’s Religious Foundation

The founding fathers of America recognized the link between faith and freedom. George Washington emphasized that religion and morality serve as essential supports for a free society. John Adams stated that the Constitution was created for moral and religious people and would not function properly without such a foundation.

In the 1800s, Alexis de Tocqueville analyzed American democracy and noted that religion formed a cornerstone of the nation’s political and civic life. He described religion as deeply connected to social trust and moral conduct and identified it as the country’s first political institution. Tocqueville argued that upholding religious values played a key role in sustaining American freedom and prosperity. This foundation fostered shared values that supported the development of democratic governance.

Building a Meaningful Life in Modern Times

Since the 1960s, American society has shifted toward greater secularization. Participation in traditional religious practices has declined, and more individuals have moved away from organized faith communities. At the same time, rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide have risen notably, especially among young people. While these trends correlate, the relationship is complex and influenced by many factors.

Some scholars observe that the growing influence of postmodern relativism—where truth and meaning are seen as subjective—has contributed to social fragmentation. This perspective often highlights narratives of victimhood, oppression, and conflict. While these narratives address real social issues, they may also contribute to division and discourage collective efforts toward unity and progress.

Without the meaningful narratives and social connections provided by faith traditions, many individuals find it challenging to discover purpose and direction. Even when achieving material success, they may experience feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction. This sense of disconnection plays a role in various mental health challenges in contemporary society.

Adapting Ancient Wisdom for Today

Traditional religious and spiritual teachings have evolved to meet the needs of each historical era. Throughout major shifts such as the fall of Rome, the Renaissance, and the Enlightenment, faith traditions have reinterpreted enduring truths using the language of their times.

We face a similar challenge today. We must express core spiritual principles within the frameworks of modern science and technology. This approach does not require abandoning foundational beliefs but calls for renewed ways to convey their meaning and significance.

Educational institutions, community groups, and faith organizations each contribute to this renewal. By collaborating, they support individuals in developing relationships and practices that foster genuine fulfillment. This joint effort honors both scientific understanding and spiritual wisdom.

Building the Four Pillars of Your Life

Creating a good life requires intentional effort in developing each of the four pillars. Faith provides the overarching meaning and purpose that guides your decisions. Family relationships offer unconditional love and support through all of life’s seasons.

Friendship brings joy, companionship, and mutual encouragement. These relationships allow you to be authentic and vulnerable while receiving acceptance and understanding. Meaningful work gives you the opportunity to contribute your unique talents and make a positive difference in the world.

Here are practical steps to strengthen each pillar:

  1. Develop your faith: Explore philosophical or spiritual frameworks that provide meaning
  2. Nurture family bonds: Invest time and energy in your closest relationships
  3. Cultivate friendships: Seek authentic connections where you can be yourself
  4. Find meaningful work: Identify ways to contribute your talents to help others

Individual action is crucial in this process. Each person can begin building the four pillars of their own life, starting with small steps and gradually developing stronger foundations. As more people embrace this approach, it creates positive ripple effects throughout communities and society.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Does Religion Conflict With Scientific Knowledge?

Many scholars argue that religion and science address different questions: science explores how the natural world works, while religion considers why the universe and life have meaning. However, the relationship between religion and science continues to be debated in broader society.

  • Can Secular People Still Build a Meaningful Life?

Yes, secular people can still build a meaningful life by focusing on the four pillars of happiness. While faith traditionally involves religious practice, it can also include philosophical frameworks that provide purpose and meaning.

  • How Long Does It Take to See Results From These Practices?

You can begin seeing results from these practices within weeks or months of consistent effort. However, building strong foundations in all four areas is a lifelong process that continues to deepen over time.

  • What if I Don’t Have Strong Family Relationships?

If you don’t have strong family relationships, you can still build fulfilling connections through your chosen family, close friends, and community groups. The key is developing relationships where you can be authentic and receive unconditional support.

  • Is Meaningful Work Only About Career Choices?

No, meaningful work is not only about career choices. It includes any activity where you contribute your talents to help others or make a positive difference, including volunteer work, parenting, or creative pursuits.

The Path to a Good Life

A woman in a flowing green dress smiles with outstretched arms on a hillside at sunset, representing joy and fulfillment.

The path to a fulfilling life does not come from winning the lottery or having endless vacation days. Genuine happiness grows from building strong foundations in faith, family, friendship, and meaningful work. These four pillars create a solid structure that supports lasting satisfaction and resilience through life’s challenges.

At The Gathering, we have helped many people transform their lives by focusing on these core elements. Our programs blend timeless wisdom with modern insights to guide individuals toward creating a purposeful and fulfilling life. This journey requires commitment and intentional action, offering rewards that go beyond money or material success.

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